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wSaturday, April 17, 2004


So I'm leaving New York City in less than 3 weeks.

Really, it's unbelievable that my year here is coming to an end. I look back and remember arriving here not too long ago. Having high hopes and expectations, wide-eyed and ready for an adventure, I became immersed in this city. It became my second home. And although the school that once was my dream was not everything I hoped for, there is not a minute of it that I'd want to forget.

NYU was my dream school. But when dreams become reality, some of its appeal is lost. This is true for all things. But with the disappointment also came some good.

And now that my departure from my 2nd home is nearing, I realize all the things that I love about this city, and all the things I'm going to miss tremendously.

I'm going to miss being able to walk everywhere, and if laziness overcomes, just hop on the subway. I'm going to miss the view from my room. I'm going to miss having Central Park as my backyard. I'm going to miss being 3 hours ahead. I'm going to miss the different smells when I walk from place to place. I'm going to miss seeing so many people walking with or against me every day. I'm going to miss going to the movies and dinner with all the friends I've made here. I'm going to miss all my professors and teachers, even though I probably let them down by not going to a lot of classes. I'm going to miss hearing sirens every hour or so distant or near from my open window. I'm going to miss the blistering cold and the suffocating heat. I'm going to miss forgetting where the fuck I am at 4 in the morning and realizing that I'm in New York Fucking City. The list goes on...

New York City has been my Mistress. I'm married to Southern California, and nothing will ever change that, but this love affair I've had for the past 9 months is exciting and new, and no matter where I end up living, New York will always be held in the deepest reaches of my heart as my second true love. One day, the city and I will be reunited, I have no doubt about that. But for now, my first home awaits me with open arms, I am shall return to her.

Good Bye NYC. I will miss you and love you forever!


posted by April at 4:48 PM


wMonday, March 08, 2004


Hello...long time no update.

It's been a little hectic these past few weeks with projects and papers and midterms, but I am very excited to be going home in 2 days.

I saw The Passion Of The Christ yesterday. Although there were countless scenes of almost unbearable gruesomeness, I did not peel my eyes from the screen once. I did, on the other hand, cry for about the last hour and a half, and movie was only 2 hours long. I am not Christian, nor any other religion. I watched this movie as just that: a movie. It was extremely well made and I don't know why there is so much controversy around it. It is indeed very graphic, and I know that religion is always a very risky topic, but as an outsider of religion, I felt no anti-semitism at all. The characters were terribley vicious, but not unlike the Germans in holocaust movies. or the Japanese in Pearl Harbor movies. Every story has a protagonist and an antagonist, and every antagonist is a protagonist in his/her own story. I hope people will realize this, and see movies for what they are, and not have too much controversy over everything.

On another note, Starsky and Hutch was a hilarous and sarcastic 70's cop movie. It probably could've been funnier, but I just love Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, especially when they are together.

Hm. There is nothing much more to say right now, considering its 2:30 in the afternoon and I SHOULD be studying for a midterm and writing a paper and finishing 3 books that I haven't started yet.

I will just say this: I be getting a helluva tan next week.

Good bye! Rock on.


posted by April at 2:31 PM


wSaturday, January 31, 2004


hello, my dear children...

i cannot believe that it is just about the 2nd month of 2004. whoo that was quick, eh?

i just got home from work less than an hour ago, what a long day. however, after my break, stephen plucked me off the 4th floor to push the combo cart around, which was fun cuz it meant i didn't have to be on register. yay!

anwyay, my plans for tomorrow suck. but it IS superbowl sunday! yay! not that i care too much about either team, its just fun to watch. also i hate the patriots. but i have to take a roll of pictures for my class on tuesday, drop them off at the film developing place, also take random pictures of greg breakdancing for his collage (why me?), and writing the essay homework. also reading 1 passage for sociology, cuz i already read a lot of it. yay!

oh well. the ape keeps on rolling and rolling, as the days go by.

my ipod comes on monday. i will update again soon when i have more to say. (i have some topics in mind, but none of which i feel like speaking of right now.)

love, the ape that rolls.


posted by April at 11:42 PM


wFriday, January 30, 2004


did i ever mention how much i hate this nyu?

okay okay, so maybe i dont hate nyu, per se, but i do hate the fucking administration. i'm in the middle of this predicament that the administration is in no way helping me with. i just hope my instructor will help me out, i'm still waiting for the email reply. i'll get into this problem later.

but i am so sick of this bullshit that is the bureacracy of nyu. everyone points the responsibility to someone else and it always ends up at myself. its always my fucking problem even though i'm paying them over 40 grand a year to deal with this stuff. it's not that hard to let me into a class that i'm on the number 1 position on the waitlist for. especially a class that is required for my major and for my freshman film & tv requirement. fuck them, seriously.

however, my disdain for this university has led to an epiphany of sorts. i've decided that i want to get out of this fucking school as fast as possible. i am going to spend all my free time working to get out of here, working to get discovered by some major distribution company so i, too, can be plucked out of this shithole. i am going to write and write and write screenplays in all my free time, perhaps even quitting my job to do so. i'll make connections with my fellow film students who actually think they are getting something out of this fucking school, i'll make friends with fellow tischies in the drama department and get them to be in my films. in fact, i'll try to direct movies on the side, in hopes of getting discovered at a film festival or something. i'll go to the classes, i'm not going to "flunk out". but i know that once i get plucked out early, and drop out for a reason, i'll show this fucking film school that i don't need shit from them.

oh yeah, and you might say that getting a diploma from nyu film would be prestigious, but look at PT Anderson, Tarantino, Spielberg, Wes Anderson, etc. they didn't graduate from film school, and especially not from nyu. and no matter what you say, martin scorcese and ang lee didn't get to where they are just cuz they went here. so take your list of alums and stick it up your ass, nyu.

anyway. i must go to the gym now. so hopefully the next post will be less bitter. at least now i am determined.


posted by April at 1:51 PM


wThursday, January 29, 2004


so i've decided to talk about religion today, something you never are supposed to talk about because it always makes someone angry, but since i could care less, and also because i've been thinking about it, i've decided to write about it.

first-of-all. i like run-on sentences.

but back on topic: religion. actually, more like beliefs about the world.

people who believe in things: good for you! seriously, i think it's awesome that you have something to have faith in, or to believe, because that is important (this sentence sucks.) i will never try to convince you to abandon your beliefs, cuz that is stupid and hypocritical. anyway.

i am not an atheist, no matter what you may think about me. up until now i had considered myself to be slightly agnostic, only because i knew not of god and i didn't give a shit whether i knew about it or not. i didn't know really what i believed in, only that i didn't want to be controlled. and i think that is the main thing with me and having a "religion". a friend told me something about religion and how that it should be about emotional and mental devotion, and not physical things like going to church and stuff like that. but i think i'd like to take it to the next step. i'm going to use christianity as an example just cuz i dont feel like going into anything else. but why should i follow the bible, even if i believe in god. just say for a minute that i do believe in him...why shouldn't i believe in any god but him, as one of the commandments say? why are his rules so stupid if he is so great? as long as i acknowledge his presence, shouldn't that be enough? also, why do they say i will go to hell if i sin so much. everyone "sins" but we are human and we shouldn't be controlled by something we can't/don't even see. they all say i will go to hell because i'm not christian or some shit. but that's just the thing: how can i go to a hell i don't believe exists?

i think that's why i like the science of things. it's based more on evidence rather than some stupid book that was written god only knows when. also, you wont go to hell if you don't believe in it. i know that everything in this world that we think we know is actually based on the unknown, but let's face it, chances are that we wont know the unknown in this lifetime, so we should just spend our time living and not following stupid rules. of course i'm not trying to convince anyone else to stop their worship or whatever, or else i'd be just as bad as the evangelists i despise so much. this is just for me, like this blog is just for me, and no one else. i just like writing my thoughts down so they are slightly more organized than my cluster of brain that i have.

so my conclusion after all this nonsense: i may or may not believe in god. i think i do believe in a "greater power" just because that is the unknown, in any religion or faith. whether the world/universe was created by this omniscient and omnipotent being or a big bang, we'll never know for sure. so let's just leave it at that. also i know that i do not want to be controlled. i think the bible is a mindfuck that is trying to scare people and order them to do things. and also, i don't think i will go to heaven or hell when i die. i will just be dead. i think this is all i have to say about this, at least for now.

also, one more thing, don't tell me i'm wrong, because i dont care what you think.


posted by April at 11:57 PM


wWednesday, January 28, 2004


hello, hello again! so, my 2nd academic week of this semester is almost over! only one class left for the week. and then i start back at the theater this friday, closing concessions. :(

but thats alright, cuz at least i'm getting money, which i need because there are a lot of things i need to buy. ANYWAY.

i've decided something: i am going to take advantage of the sights and atmosphere of this city. i am going to create a photography portfolio and improve my photography skills, learn more about different films and lightings, and perhaps try to get a job as a photographer on the side so i wont have to work at my crappy-ass job at the movie theater anymore.

another thing i've decided: to read more more more. i dont have classes on thursdays, and only 1 class on fridays, and the whole weekend free (unless i'm at work). i've decided to devote my time to reading more books to "enrich my mind" or whatever.

one more thing: to write more! i figure the more i write, the better i get at it. i have a couple ideas for screenplays that i'd really like to develop, and i think i'll take this chance to write short stories and some poetry/lyrics as well. i'll carry a notebook with me everywhere and just write when i'm bored. i think that is an excellent idea.

and i've decided something else: since i'm deciding all these things, and i'm kinda making a list, i've decided to make a real list. it'll kinda be like new years' resolutions except i'll actually keep them.

here goes:
1. to do my laundry: last semester, i am only a little embarrased to admit, i did not do my laundry once. that's right, i just kept on buying new clothes every time the other ones got dirty. since i started unpacking today, i've realized exactly how many pieces of clothing i have. it's a little disgusting how much clothes i have. so the first thing i need to do: buy a laundry hamper (or 2, to pre-separate), buy detergent, GET MORE QUARTERS. i don't really have enough money in quarters to do laundry, so this is important. in fact, i think i shall do a load or 2 of laundry tomorrow, since i have no class. oh, and my sheets too.

2. to go to the gym at least 4 times a week: this is important not only cuz i want to stay in shape, but also because since i'm paying 40 grand (or more) a year to come here, i might as well take advantage of the resources they are providing me, which is a gym membership only 3 blocks away from me. also, since it's so cold outside i don't really walk around too much, so i need to get my exercise. here is my workout schedule (tentative): mondays 1:00-3:00PM--15min cardio warmup, 30min strength training, 30min rock climbing wall, 20min swim, shower, leave time for changing, lunch at Palladium dining; wednesdays 3:45-5:00PM--15min cardio warmup, 30min strength training, 15min warm down (treadmill, perhaps), shower, dinner, and class at 6:20PM; thursdays 10:00AM-12:00PM-- 15min cardio warmup, 30min strength training, 30min rock climbing wall, 20min swim, shower, lunch at Palladium dining, fridays 12:45-2:00--15min cardio warmup, 30min strength training, 15min warm down, rock climbing? (depending on if i have work afterwards). on weekends, same, depending on when i have work. also i could probably go after work some days considering that work is right next door to it. anyway, i think that's a pretty good workout schedule, not too much, but just enough to keep me in shape! plus i get to have a nice lunch at palladium. tomorrow is my first time to work out in months! i am so excited.

3. eat healthier: that's right, i'm going to eat vegetables. a salad at least once every 2 days as a meal, perhaps smoothies from faye's also. drink lots of water, less or no soda, no candy, watch the carbs. a good day's meal is a salad for lunch and a smoothie as a mid afternoon snack, and a turkey sandwich from faye's! yay!!!

4. save my money! ahhhh. i work hard for my cash at my crappy ass movie theater job, and i always let it slip through my fingers. soooooo every paycheck i'm depositing at least HALF into my savings account and transfer to my CD account or ameritrade, and the rest will go in my regular savings for easy access. but even so i will try to save money, and not go shopping for any more clothes cuz god knows i have enough.

well, that's it for now folks, i need to start doing my homework so i won't have any on sunday night. oh yeah.

5. do my homework EARLY. that's right, like 4 days before the due date. i think the reasons for this one are obvious.

good night, children. i may post more later if i have time. i also have to keep working on the margaret yang site. laters!

april shih.


posted by April at 11:22 PM


wSunday, January 25, 2004


hello.

today marks the one week anniversary of my return to The City. I can safely approximate the temperature outside the comfort of my dorm room: negative 3 degrees farenheight. can you say "blistering"? it is indeed.

so for the past week i have simultaneously started 2nd semester classes and been host to my dear dear friends from california. i really hope they had fun, or as much fun one can have in such dreadful temperatures.

i haven't had much time to reflect on winter vacation, or anything that i've done since my last entry.

i feel like i'm getting off to a good start, to say the least. although my dorm room lay still in tatters with remnants from my visitors and unpacking has been put at the end of my list of priorties, i feel as if my classes will be stimulating both academically and mentally, whatever that means. after one sociology lecture, i can safely say that this semester will be quite enjoyable. and i feel slightly busier (as i should, due to the fact that i am taking a whopping 18 units in comparison to last semester's 14), and that's a good thing, as i tend to stray from constructive activities when i have too much time on my hands, and having things to do prevents my mind from inevitabley meandering and beomcing lost completly beyond redemption.

anyway. i am taking a break from my "writing the essay" assignment for tomorrow. during the subway ride home from the airport after dropping the guys off, i started reading this long and somewhat boring essay(?) on sites and installments of art, or something, and now after completing the reading assignment, i am required to do some writing. however, the assignment flew completely over my head, so i feel the need to breathe a little and let my mind "controllably" wander. which is why i am posting a new entry.

this essay was about how the installment (placement?) of an art object in a specific site is actually a form of art in itself. i've tricked my mind into thinking that this topic is actually interesting and i've decided to convince myself that i'm actually really into this class. i think i will be one of those annoying people who think too much and say too much in lectures when really i could be taking a nap. or not. i think i need to find a middle ground. so, if i understand correctly, i am to choose 2 or 3 art works mentioned in the essay and...write about it? i am utterly lost. and i'm supposed to visit some sites, which is too late because my class is 9:30 tomorrow morning and it's already dark. oh well, i think i've visited a lot of sites in the past week that i can use for this assignment.

okay, that was the boring "what i have done and am doing today" section of this blog. i think i will now move on to less bland of topics.

i've decided to stimulate my brain. that is, by reading and writing more. and perhaps memorizing multiplication tables. i am so terribly embarrased by the fact that it takes me a good ten minutes to figure out a bill at a restaurant while onlookers point and laugh. okay, okay maybe i'm exaggerating a little, but that "little" is really little. i think my goal for this week is to finish "a heartbreaking work of staggering genius" by eggers (which is underlined, really, but in quotes right now because i dont have an underline button on this page, so i'm not really grammatically incorrect, just deprived), and start re-reading rand's "the fountainhead" (also underlined), or perhaps "atlas shrugged". or, maybe if ayn rand is a little too...political(?) or...philisophical(?) then i shall read the homer's "the iliad". i am working on an "epic" website for an "epic" band, so reading and epic novel (or rather, poem) would be a great idea. also, i hope sometime this week to stop by st. mark's bookstore, or that other one on broadway across the street from 721 broadway to check out some new reads.

anyway. i really must go now, i started typing all that a few hours ago, but i got interrupted by some friends and also the golden globes. i must finish my homework for tomorrow. :)

love, april.


posted by April at 11:29 PM